See the Good. Be the Good. An Update

Almost three years ago I wrote a post I really believed in and that I hoped would be a source of motivation to others looking to make life a little better. It was a post on seeing silver linings, of looking for the good even in places of pain and disappointment, and it was about making even a small difference in the day-to-day life of others. See the good, be the good became a reminder that positive things hide even in negative places and that some days I might need to be that positive thing.

Many people will look back on this last year through tear-stained eyes, grief holding on tight to hearts and minds, as grief often does. When mentioning all that transpired, there will be understandable disdain for the events of the previous months and we will all collectively hold our breath for fresh starts and blank slates. But I cannot let this last year fade away as an unhappy memory when I firmly believe there is goodness to be found even in the most trying of times.

This past summer, my son and I watched every Marvel movie chronologically from Captain America: The First Avenger to Spiderman: Far from Home. Later my kids and I worked our way through the Harry Potter films. As we immersed ourselves in these rich stories of good versus evil, it helped to lay the foundation for uncovering the good to be found in this year. J.K. Rowling, in The Prisoner of Azkaban, gives Albus Dumbledore a memorable line. “Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

That’s the thing about good versus evil. The light always wins.

The light always wins against the dark because the good, the One who is immeasurably and overwhelmingly good, has already triumphed over evil. “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:5) Anything the world can bring us is only temporary because His victory is eternal. He is the light of the world that brings light to the world.

See the Good

Seeing the good means looking for this light; it means looking for big and little pictures of grace in a world that seems starved for good gifts. For our family, the lockdown created by the pandemic allowed for much needed rest after a difficult season of change we experienced the last half of 2019. The time at home gave us permission to slow down, to spend time together, to work our land and cultivate our homestead, and most importantly, to heal.

I know for some it was a difficult thing to find the good. In a year marked by sickness, death, loneliness, and fear of the present and future, it wasn’t easy to see even a small glimmer of hope. But leaning in to peer a bit closer, beneath the murky waters of this year, we might just find a shimmering pearl of goodness hiding in the sand.

I encourage you to look back and find a bit of encouragement from the last year that will help to propel you into the new. Even if you find yourself limping day after day, the goodness is that you are here. You woke up yesterday and today, and tomorrow you will greet a new day. In a dark season, that is enough.

Be the Good

But if you are ready, if you want to take a step toward adding a bit more light, I ask that you try to not only see the good in each day, but be the good to those around you. I keep reading stories of so many negative attitudes and behaviors; people have forgotten how to treat each other. We are collectively hurting and as the old cliché says, hurt people hurt people.

This new year will not necessarily mean all the bad will cease to be. On the contrary, we will probably continue to endure sickness, death, and loneliness. We will always have those in this broken world. The difference between then and now is that we can choose to be a source of light in dark days. We can choose small acts of kindness and edifying words. We can choose to be the good to those around us who need us to reflect the light of the one who has forever overcome the darkness.

See the good.

Be the good.

And as Dumbledore encouraged, remember to turn on the light.

 

Reluctant Hospitality: When Opening Your Home Feels Overwhelming

I have a confession to make.  Practicing hospitality scares me.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of hospitality. My shelf is full of books on the subject and I’m drawn to blogs that center around opening your home. My heart truly craves being hospitable to both friends and strangers, but sometimes I am self-conscious about my home and my ability to welcome people in. It’s a beautiful concept, but one I find myself struggling to put into practice.

About two years ago, my husband and I started building our home on some acreage out in the country.  We drew a floor plan on graph paper, then took on the laborious task of building from the ground up with our own hands. With each long day that we swung hammers, raised walls, put down flooring, and finally rolled on paint, I dreamed of all the people I would one day invite into this space. We would have more room, more outdoor space, and it would be better decorated and more welcoming. 

Now that we’re moved in, it has all those things, but it is also full of unfinished projects like baseboards and ceilings that still need paint, patchy grass that becomes a muddy mess with every rain, muddy floors from dogs that track in that muddy mess, and a honey-do list a mile long. There is always an excuse for me not to invite people. 

It all comes down to fear.

I’m afraid my house is never clean enough and I worry my guests will see all the imperfections.  I keep putting hospitality to the side until projects are done, or life isn’t too busy, or I feel like things are finally settled. 

Sometimes insecurity creeps in that has more to do with me than the state of my house. Truth is, I’m not the best at making new friends and social gatherings sometimes make me feel awkward and lonely. These same insecurities arise when I think about inviting others to my home.  What if it’s not the home they’re judging, but me?

So how do I get past this fear, especially when hospitality is a common theme running through scripture?

Years ago, I heard a speaker talk about loving others. He spoke of his desire to be a “there you are” person instead of a “here I am” person.  A “there you are” person puts the focus on others. It’s a beautiful description of loving our neighbor.  It is other-focused, instead of self-focused. 

It is Paul telling us, “Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor” (1 Corinthians 10:24). It is Jesus ministering to the masses, and to the individual. It is scripture reminding us that loving others is part of the greatest commandment.

Being hospitable means putting others ahead of myself.  When I’m focused on the guest and his or her needs, the wall of insecurity and fear I built around myself crumbles.

What does real, honest, open hospitality look like? 

It is inviting people over for a pancake breakfast on a Saturday morning even though there are dishes on the counter from last night.  It’s a backyard bonfire, while your two elderly dogs and one skinny, yellow cat snuggle up to your guests.  It’s taco Tuesday, minus the crunchy taco shells you forgot to grab at the store. Sometimes hospitality looks like picking up a few pizzas and bringing them to a friend’s house, so she doesn’t have to pack up all her kids and haul them across town during nap time.

 

Being hospitable is not extravagant and it’s certainly not about putting myself or my home on display. True hospitality puts the focus on the people who walk through my front door. When I make loving my guests a priority instead of feeling stressed or self-conscious about the state of my home, I create an atmosphere of comfort and fellowship. 

Hospitality isn’t about me. Instead, it’s about seeking what is good for those God calls me to love.  It is being a “there you are” person. I invite people in because I am imperfect, and they are imperfect, but together we can create beautiful fellowship and beautifully imperfect friendships.

If you let people in your life, soon they won't be just knocking on your door; they'll be knocking on your heart.

And you'll welcome them in with open arms.

The Enemy is Prowling: Three Ways to Keep from Being Devoured

Why did you even come?  They already have their friend group.  There's no room for you.

You have nothing of value to say, and even if you did, you would just sound stupid.

See?  They’re not interested in talking to you. They’re not interested in you at all.

Insecurity is a vicious feeling that festers in the mind and heart.  It will eat you alive.  It builds walls between us and keeps friendships from moving forward.  It causes relationships to sit idle and dead like stagnant water.

In the past month, I dealt with deafening thoughts of insecurity that threatened to immobilize me. I felt burdened at work, home, and church.

Thankfully, God’s truth is stronger than the enemy’s attacks and I realized something was not right.  I stepped out in faith and you know what I found?  I was not alone. Other women in my life were transparent about their own struggles.  All of us felt that sting of insecurity and realized it wasn’t a coincidence.

Here’s the thing.  The enemy will do everything in his power to keep us separated.

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”  1 Peter 5:8

Be on guard, friends. The devil is prowling.

It’s no coincidence two of my sweet friends quoted 1 Peter 5:8 to me this past week.  I also know it’s not an accident they both described the hunting patterns of lions to illustrate the same point. Lions don’t attack a whole herd. Instead, they look for the stragglers; the ones separated from their group. 

Isn’t that so fitting?  It makes perfect sense the devil would want to keep us separated from our community.  Of course he would want to make us feel like we don’t have a place.  We’re much easier to devour.

So, friends, how do we combat those feelings of insecurity that make us want to shy away from companionship and community?  Relationships are the key. 

1. Pursue an active prayer life.

Spending quality time with someone is the best way to get to know them.  The same is true in our relationship with our Creator. When we dedicate time in our day to be alone with God, both in talking to Him and listening, our relationship with Him strengthens. James 4:8 says if you draw near to God, He will draw near to you.

2. Keep active in a community of believers.

The enemy wants you lonely and alone.  He wants to convince you that you don’t matter, that you have nothing to offer, and that no one wants you.  His goal is to break you away from your support system.  

Don’t let him! 

If you feel like building a wall around yourself, that’s a great indicator to build a bridge instead.  Reach out to those around you and keep showing up. Be honest about your struggles because there's always another woman feeling the same way. I promise, it’s worth it.

3. Fill your life with truth.

If you want to have a better understanding of God’s character, look no further than the Word.  It is filled with truth we can preach to ourselves when the enemy starts prowling. 

The other night in church, small coincidences had me doubting friendships and my place in my church family.  The devil was hurling negative thoughts at me like small grenades of insecurity. I was battling the enemy's lies.

A few days before, my friend Suzanne reminded me that as Christians the devil can’t possess us, but he can sure oppress us. In church that night I was weighed down with that oppression.  It was suffocating. 

Then the light broke through. 

My God tells me I don’t need to find my worth in the way people feel about me, or who my friends are.  My worth is found in Him alone.  He’s the one who sustains me. He brings me peace. 

The devil started the battle, but God’s truth bomb won the war.

And just like that, the burden fell off my shoulders and I no longer felt shackled by insecurity.  God is my deliverer and my firm foundation.

A final thought…

If you’re not currently struggling with the enemy’s attacks, can you do me a favor?  Find the person who is standing at the edge of your community with one foot out the door and reach out to her. Be transparent with your own struggles and use that opportunity to speak truth into her life. Ask to pray with her and for her. Show her, that despite what the devil is whispering in her ear, she is still loved. Learn to recognize the struggle in others and reach into the darkness. 

“Bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

In doing so, we build up our community and build a hedge against the enemy looking to devour us one by one.